A New Year resolutions -Beyond measuring progress by weight loss alone

by Elad Levinson

The time has come to recognize that the entire way we measure our progress in health improvement and weight loss is seriously flawed.
The New Year’s resolutions are being constructed today, tomorrow and they inevitably say, “I will lose X pounds this year, month, day, hour, minute” depending upon how realistic/in denial you are as you make them.

I propose that we shoot the messengers of weight loss who claim pounds loss equal success and thrown in the BMI for good luck (Body Mass Index or how it is affectionately called the Big Mistake Index) because it is a mistake to use it as the only useful tool for measuring right sizing.

Here are some new forms of measurement that you might consider:
1. Truthfulness and Accuracy: Am I telling the truth to myself about what I actually put into my body- quantity and quality?
2. Mental training and skills: Am I committed to developing the tools and skills that make me a more objective observer of my own responses and reactions so I can make better choices?
3. Lifelong, sustainable eating plan: Do I have a realistic plan for eating that I can live with the rest of my life that will lead me to steady health improvement and weight loss/maintenance?
4. Exercise and movement: Am I constructing and experimenting with ways of moving that get me up off the couch and engaged with life in a pleasurable and healthful way?
5. Self-honesty and authenticity: Am I becoming more willing to say what is in my heart and mind regardless of how others see or respond to my experience?
6. Compassion and self-esteem: Am I willing to concern myself with others in need in such a way that it relieves me of the burden of isolation and makes me feel good about myself through acts of generosity?
7. Progress and small wins: Do I realize the long-term nature of my commitment and am I willing to approach my health improvement as a decade or lifelong goal with incremental changes for the better?

Supporting the Open Heart

by Maryann Marks

Do you ever get that anxious feeling when you think about asking a friend for support? The anxiety level that often hits me when I start to ask for help has surprised me. Being a curious person, I have spent some time wondering why I would feel this way. Some of the “reasons” I come up with are: fear of rejection, fear of bothering someone, and the fear of being humiliated.

Being a therapist, I know these are all old childhood wounds that I should be able to get over. I can say that for the most part, I just acknowledge them and ask for help anyways. But, my confession to you is that sometimes I just don’t ask for help. I assume that the other person will not help. By making the decision for them, I lose out on many opportunities for support. So, I’m on the exercise machine at the gym. This is where I get a lot of my inspiration, by the way. I am listening to a poem by Hafiz; he is asked if he is a man or a woman? Something like “What is it like be a man?” Hafiz answers, “a better question would be what is it like to be a heart. “

I thought about what it is like for me when I am an open heart. Being a person who likes to experiment with things, I thought about someone I wanted to ask for help and the feeling of anxiety came over me just thinking about it. Then I opened my heart, which is really an individual experience. I feel myself expanding not feeling closed, shut down or contracted in fear. I imagine that love is penetrating every cell in my body and that love is available right now to me; there is no scarcity. With this feeling of open heartedness, I imagined myself asking that same person for help. No anxiety arises. Hey, it works. So, I try it the next day when some conflict comes up in business dealing. I’m disappointed about the way I am treated. I open my heart, and experience a very peaceful feeling. The conflict passes, and miraculously, the person offers me something I really want.

The point of this, for me, is to return to this open heart no matter what the outcome. I have another experience with an old friend that was very bitter. I keep opening my heart to the thoughts that arise with openheartedness. She may never change, but I change immediately, when I open my heart to her, knowing there is nothing else to say or do

Christmas Confession

by Elad Levinson

It’s Christmas time on the Alcoholism unit at Sequoia Hospital
So, I am sitting at the Nurses station schmoozing with two colleagues and staring me in the face and wafting across the ethers are several boxes of See’s candies. I have lost 100 pounds a few years back but have never lost the compulsive response to sweets- I cannot walk away from the siren call of the sensuous dark brown explosions of flavor waiting for my mouth but then again I feel like I can’t just take one, I want many.

 I wait for the nurse who is closest to the chocolate to be called away and I grab a napkin and stuff as many candies as I can without being seen or noticed. Then, lI slip into the bathroom at the nurse’s station and gobble the candies with no real pleasure or mindfulness- I eat them with no enjoyment.
Then I come out of the bathroom as if nothing had happened. I never checked to see if I had crumbles of chocolate on the corners of my mouth or brown stains marring my fingers. I just go back to the conversation with my ears burning with shame and a smile on my face like I got away with something.
About an hour later, I am on duty and it is my job to start and watch a movie about addiction. In the movie, the main character is sneaking drinks in the bathroom and then acting as if he was sober. I had a nightmarish flash of recognition. I was him.

That moment of embarrassment was the beginning of my examining my actions and understanding them as a serious problem that could be called addiction. I don’t particularly like the labels of addiction, obesity or compulsive eater because they miss the real experience of the suffering caused by the process we have inside. It is more accurate to describe the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual toll it takes and how isolated we end up feeling.
The recognition, that there were others who suffered as I did, led me to become a member of a 12 Step Program, go into therapy to explore how come I was at my goal weight and still crazy after all these years.

The journey and the discoveries made are the basis of Pounds for Poverty. I am happy to share what I have learned. I hope you have a moment like mine that allows you to become ready to look beyond the loss of weight to the underlying root cause- the mind.

Healing obesity and hunger at the same time- that’s Pounds for Poverty’s mission

by Elad Levinson

It may seem strange to consider these two epidemic and catastrophic disasters in the same breath or same category. Really isn’t obesity and over eating just a matter of will power and determination to resolve? Many feel that the poor and the hungry, through their own efforts could rectify their situation also. From many perspectives, they share a cultural belief that the problem is personal, individual and a matter of intention and effort to solve.

We don’t look at either that way. We assert that hunger and obesity or simply over consuming are cultural phenomena and that we can solve both in tandem. It is a curious paradox- that on one hand it is up to the individual to do their part in helping themselves and, on the other hand, it is also a much bigger problem than any individual can solve.

In one big way, hunger is a redistribution problem- some have too much while many have too little. I know it is not that simple. Our insight is that by exchanging our tendency to over do (food, spending, alcohol, sugar) and convert the money to a donation to a charity fighting hunger like Second Harvest (our featured charity this quarter) the donor builds a foundation to change for the better. In a very real way everyone is better for the exchange and how often does that happen?

I have learned that one of the quickest ways to improve my positive feelings about myself is to give to something of value to the recipient. It makes me feel more self worth and improves my reputation with myself which has suffered mightily with over eating and weight gain. My insight about the relationship between hunger and over consuming came out of personal experience. In my case, I have had a sincere desire to be of service to others for my whole lifetime.

In Alcoholics Anonymous and the other 12 Step Programs, giving back is a key to recovery. In most religions, compassion in the form of action- charity is considered to be a central tenet of the good life.

When giving to others is coupled with mindfulness training the combination is a remedy to over eating and over consumption. Mindfulness is the practice of training the mind to be sharp, clear, insightful and receptive. All of these qualities are needed by the person who is attempting to make a significant change in their health and to lose weight.

Embarking on the heroic journey to health and weight loss

by Elad Levinson

It may seem strange to call the journey of health improvement and weight loss a heroic journey.

The trip has been filled with the qualities of the hero to me-

Welcome to my blog- and I also offer good tidings- that there is a solution to being overweight or obese or eating too much or too little.

The road to the solution is a less travelled one- most people would prefer the quick fix freeway. This road is better described as the courageous heart’s journey to becoming a true whole self.

If we were going on a long journey we would want to look ahead and inventory what we will need to go on the trip and what we must gather.

The nature of this trip is that much is not known until the first step is taken. But you discover early on the journey that the road leads to learning things about your self and life that you had no idea were needed. An example:

I had no idea that I would need to bring a much more open mind than I was used to having- but I was told that I did not have to adopt any dogma or method unless it helped me with my goal which was and still is to be a aware, kind, compassionate person in excellent health with good friends and close family. Another aspect that I have discovered is the critical place that curiosity plays in the heroic quest for health and weight loss. Inquiry, reflection and insight have all played a very big part in why I have maintained my weight loss. I had to learn the skills of insight- it did not come easily or without quite a bit of effort.  The fruit of the effort is that I no longer sabotage my intentions by unexamined self deceits.

Inventory of what was on hand taught me that like so many of my clients and peers there are internal obstacles to success that must be considered alongside of the external tools, skills and know-how.

In the early days of the journey what I encountered were:
•    Loads of mental confusion regarding what to do, what worked, who to trust and how to even think about the plan or program that I needed to be successful.
•    A body that was embarrassing and was a drag to bring anywhere. On some days it even felt like I was so under an oppressive cloud of shame due to my health that I did not even want to try to do anything positive- I felt pessimistic about my chances of success.
•    Emotions that were extremes- depression and elation, optimism (unfounded) and pessimism. There were times when I could not keep a plan going because the emotions were like mood storms sweeping in off the plains to engulf me in what ever the mood was and then left me derailed and defeated.

At journey’s beginning that was what I had to deal with and much more. Surprisingly, like many of us, my outside world looked good- a career success, married to a beautiful and charming woman, a new BMW, a home in beautiful hills of the Bay Area, but inside I felt like a fraud- if they only knew what I was doing with food I would be exposed for the impostor I was.
By the time of writing this, I have found, as I believe you can that what is learned along the way to health is exactly what is needed to become truly happy and fulfilled in four ways- emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

Join me for the unfolding of you through what I can offer and share to aid you on your way.

Creating Community-coming out of isolation, depression and over-eating

by Maryann Marks

This word, community, seems to follow me everywhere I move. I always long to be part of a community, but I resist putting in the effort because I always think I’ll be moving and I don’t want to get involved and feel the loss. I was born in Maryland and lived there for five days. I grew up in the military and moved numerous times beginning with that first few days in the hospital in a state where my parents didn’t even live. Thus began my life as a nomad, longing for community from the time I could remember.

So here I am in Mountain View, California. I am determined to find a community even if I do decide to move at some point. I really don’t know when I’ll move, so it is time again to experiment with this quest to be part of something. I think Pounds for Poverty was born out of that quest. I’ve heard it said that obesity is a disease born out of isolation. Researchers and psychologist both agree isolation is linked with depression. Isolation, over eating and depression are all part of the triangle that leads to a downward spiral. So what’s the solution? My great teacher, Buddha, said “Every problem comes with the answer. In all suffering lies the way out.” I think there are many lonely people out there who want so desperately to connect, but feel too ashamed and overwhelmed to put in the effort.

Perhaps you are like me with an excuse list like this: fear of rejection, disappointment, humiliation, and overwhelm. Where do I belong? Who will accept me just the way I am? Who will I feel most comfortable with? I’ve decided that breaking out of the comfort zone is the first place to start. For me, breaking out of the comfort zone means taking responsibility, focusing on a positive outcome, leaving the house, taking a risk, however small, and finding out if there could possibly be a place where I fit in. Part of my current experiment to find a community is to send a call out into the vastness of cyberspace and ask you to contact me. My guess is there are plenty of people out there who feel the way I do.

Maybe we can brainstorm together. Build our own community, support each other in getting outside and taking that initial risk of meeting someone new, taking a class, attending a lecture, going to the gym, whatever we are afraid of doing. I’ve decided to join a sangha. You may ask what the heck a sangha is. A sangha is a group of like-minded people who get together to support each other. The sangha I’m going to attend tonight for the first time is called the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City. I’ve been meditating for years and have always wanted to be part of a mediation group, but you know my reasons for not doing is. I’m taking that first step and reaching out.  I hope I will inspire you to do the same.

Dancing on jell-o: becoming the change that you want to see

by Elad Levinson

Barack Obama identified a theme that is universal and covers much more than politics and elections. “Change that we can believe in”- that struck a chord with us I would speculate because we know that change is difficult to initiate, sustains and maintain. In government, as in weight loss and health improvement, it is our tendency to maintain the status quo even if it will kill us, the planet and all forms of sentient life.

I have been a student of change, change mastery, and systemic change in a variety of contexts: as a psychotherapist helping clients become successful with initiating and maintaining changes they desire, with companies who are trying to change a process, team, function or whole system, with families as they struggle with changing their patterns as a family unit. It really doesn’t matter what the size, complexity or nature of the intent to change- there are methods and practices that govern whether change is successfully implemented.

Here are five steps that all change must follow to move from a current state to a future desired state:
1.    Describe the current situation in detail with regard to what you want to be different. Examples might be, I don’t want to be in this job any more, I want to work for someone I admire, I want more responsibility, I like it when I am in charge of something and it is up to me to decide how to get it done right and best.
2.    Describe the future as you would like to see it as a good end state that is reasonable and specific enough that you would know if you arrived there.  Examples: I want to be healthy, I want to be able to exercise regularly without pain, I intend to be able to walk with my grandchildren when we go to the park, I want to live to be 90 but not bent over with arthritis, I want to be flexible and have strong muscles all over- not a weight lifter body kind of strength, just strong, able to lift, turn a jar top and go grocery shopping without a walker.  
3.    Pick a small step in the direction you intend to go. If you cannot find an incremental step, then ask for help from someone who has done what you want to accomplish so you get ideas from them.
4.    Find a few people who are like minded and motivated to make positive change as you are and form a support team. Get together frequently enough that you never feel alone in your pursuit of health.
5.    Keep a gratitude list of the little changes you are making that you feel grateful for.  Remind yourself what you are happy about due to your efforts.  Make gratitude your attitude-it’s no platitude!