Creating Community-coming out of isolation, depression and over-eating

by Maryann Marks

This word, community, seems to follow me everywhere I move. I always long to be part of a community, but I resist putting in the effort because I always think I’ll be moving and I don’t want to get involved and feel the loss. I was born in Maryland and lived there for five days. I grew up in the military and moved numerous times beginning with that first few days in the hospital in a state where my parents didn’t even live. Thus began my life as a nomad, longing for community from the time I could remember.

So here I am in Mountain View, California. I am determined to find a community even if I do decide to move at some point. I really don’t know when I’ll move, so it is time again to experiment with this quest to be part of something. I think Pounds for Poverty was born out of that quest. I’ve heard it said that obesity is a disease born out of isolation. Researchers and psychologist both agree isolation is linked with depression. Isolation, over eating and depression are all part of the triangle that leads to a downward spiral. So what’s the solution? My great teacher, Buddha, said “Every problem comes with the answer. In all suffering lies the way out.” I think there are many lonely people out there who want so desperately to connect, but feel too ashamed and overwhelmed to put in the effort.

Perhaps you are like me with an excuse list like this: fear of rejection, disappointment, humiliation, and overwhelm. Where do I belong? Who will accept me just the way I am? Who will I feel most comfortable with? I’ve decided that breaking out of the comfort zone is the first place to start. For me, breaking out of the comfort zone means taking responsibility, focusing on a positive outcome, leaving the house, taking a risk, however small, and finding out if there could possibly be a place where I fit in. Part of my current experiment to find a community is to send a call out into the vastness of cyberspace and ask you to contact me. My guess is there are plenty of people out there who feel the way I do.

Maybe we can brainstorm together. Build our own community, support each other in getting outside and taking that initial risk of meeting someone new, taking a class, attending a lecture, going to the gym, whatever we are afraid of doing. I’ve decided to join a sangha. You may ask what the heck a sangha is. A sangha is a group of like-minded people who get together to support each other. The sangha I’m going to attend tonight for the first time is called the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City. I’ve been meditating for years and have always wanted to be part of a mediation group, but you know my reasons for not doing is. I’m taking that first step and reaching out.  I hope I will inspire you to do the same.